The Miss Adventures of Miss Sleek

My how the time flies.

2011-06-18T19:19:00.002-04:00

Two years ago ON THE DAY since I last blogged? Turns out that the older you get, the faster time flies. While I won't promise to update every day, just know that I'm still alive and kicking, and that we have much to catch up on from my two year sabbatical. Cheers to anyone who still checks in.

Happy Happy Birthday!

2009-06-19T04:38:00.002-04:00

This man turned 23 on Thursday. He still looks this good, promise! Happy birthday, my puzzle piece.

An u

2009-05-15T22:07:00.002-04:00

Just a quick stop to let those who still check in that life is swell. Wedding plans are at a standstill until we've decided on a house and what not, but they'll pick right back up as soon as that whole bit is resolved.

But on a related note: No, mom, I don't want full-length sleeves on my wedding dress, thanks for asking.

Worrisome thoughts.

2009-04-18T23:54:00.003-04:00

I know I've gone over this before, but it will forever amaze me the vast amount of people that I went to school with that have married, and already have children. I got a copy of my high school transcript today, and according to such I graduated 49th out of 175. Small class, no doubt. I do the crude math in my mind, and at least half of those people are now married, and at least half of that half have a child, or multiple children.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I feel all "holy shit" when I think about it. Not to mention that it brings to mind my own soon-to-be marriage, and -gulp- the idea of having a family.

It's no secret, though maybe it hasn't been brought up here, that I will probably never have children. I have this weird hormonal condition that causes peaks and drops in my hormone levels, to the point where if I ever did have an oops it would never...come to fruition, I guess.

Basically I'm all barbed wire and land mines inside.

I think I'm okay with that, but sometimes I wonder. Knowing the life that I lead (which tends to be very late-night and lazy, to be honest), it would be ridiculous to try and bring a baby into such. I'm mature enough to realize that I'm not mature enough to be a good parent. I think that the idea of it being an extremely uphill battle is....comforting, in a way.

Derek had a baby dream the other night. He woke up with a sleepy smile and told me all about it. I've only ever had ONE baby dream, and that had to have been at least six years ago. The next night we were laying in bed and I was almost asleep, and I murmured -

"...Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"What if we can't have babies? I mean, ever?"

He tightened his arm around me, and snuggled my back.

"It'll be ok. I promise."

With that, I let it be and drifted off to sleep.

Part of me can't just let it go, thinking that some day we might decide "ah, what the hell!" and go shooting for something that will probably be a lot more difficult than I can even fathom. I'm talking bovine hormones, taking temperatures, the whole bit. In the face of such, does one just accept it, and ultimately be ok with it?

Will I be ok with it? I think that's the more important question.

Get behind me, Winter.

2009-04-04T09:21:00.002-04:00

Despite the almost balmy conditions outside recently, it seems that winter is making one final reunion tour before finally calling it quits. The wind is howling, and there's snow in the forecast. Yuck. It's weather like this that only enhances my graveyard tan.

In regards to weddings and etc. there have been a few decisions, though not set in stone. Derek and I decided that we want to purchase a house before we do the whole wedding thing. That way, we can have the reception in our own yard if we so choose. A kind of double housewarming/yay, you're married! type thing. We shall see.

I also found an online retailer that has some nice, and also relatively cheap plus-sized wedding dresses. I'm a tad worried about it though, because I don't want to pay for what I think is a nice gown, and wind up with a bed sheet tailored to fit the Michelin man. A little more research is in order on that front.

I got my ring back from the jewelers this week. It seemed like it was taking forever to size, but I'm content now. I wore it to work, and then had to wade through all the "oohs" and "OMG let me see, let me see!s" for the entire day. Apparently, you can judge a fiancee by the ring he buys, without even knowing him personally. Who knew?

I've been Craigslisting furiously for days trying to find a new car. When my car died this winter, I opted for an old, 80's-style blazer for rest of the winter. Bad idea. Aside from the fact that it leaks fluid from every possible orifice, it's loud and has poor brakes. So hopefully I can find myself something that I feel comfortable driving further than the six mile trek to work. We shall see.

In the meantime however, I shall brew coffee, stare at the world wide web, and hope the fire kicks out some heat soon! It be chilly in these parts.

On weddings.

2009-03-22T12:44:00.003-04:00

Funny story: Derek proposed to me on Tuesday, and on Wednesday he came home with a fever and the chills. Turns out he had the flu, which in turn gave him bronchitis and sinusitis. So I spent the next week nursing him back to health. Unable to really talk to his heavily medicated self about wedding stuff, I was left to my own devices. Oh, and the evil thing that is the World Wide Web.

Seriously, I have no idea where to even start. There are so many different things to think about, aside from the obvious When and Where. Oh, and also? We aren't millionaires. We are what millionaires spend for breakfast, probably. I'm not all about princess weddings with taffeta and white horses and all that bullshit. But seriously, I refuse to have a bring-your-own-cooler, WalMart wedding. It's finding that middle ground that I'm having trouble with.

The other big thing (no pun intended*) is the dress. I went dress shopping with Yolanda when she was getting married, and seriously? They had nothing above a 10. It's no secret that I am not a size 10. In fact, you could probably staple two size 10 dresses together and it would still be too small. So I can just see how dreadful shopping for a dress will be. I've seen a lot of pretty dresses online, but the fact remains that even if they are made in plus sizes...I don't get to see a picture of them actually on a plus-sized girl. Maddening, and annoying.

Ugh, I could go on about this for days. I certainly don't want this to be a big frustrating ordeal. I think that my biggest problem is that I am a life-long "winger". That is, I do better in a situation where I can just jump right in and do something, rather than plan it and over think it. Weddings are the type of beast where planning is an absolute must--otherwise it would just be Derek and I standing around wondering where the hell everyone was. Oh, that's right, we didn't tell anyone about it. There were no invitations, no set plans. Kaboom, crash, fizzle!

*Takes a deep, calming breath*

I'm definitely excited that we're getting married. Derek is the most wonderful man that I've ever met, and I am perfectly happy with spending the rest of my life with him. I also want my close friends and family to be there to celebrate the coming together of our families. I just hate the fact that I'm having so much trouble wading through the crinoline and tiaras to find what I really want.

*ok, perhaps a little.

The shortest post of ALL TIME.

2009-03-13T00:19:00.003-04:00

To all those of you that have followed me in my blogging journey (though it had many gaps, and long rambling stories about teenage problems, obesity, and bodily odors) I have some news.

Derek proposed to me. I said yes. I'm getting married!

I should be making dinner right now.

2009-01-23T19:51:00.002-05:00

But instead, I decided to take advantage of our shiny new internet. Ooh, aah. What a wonderful thing.

I went to the doctor last week because I seriously have a ringing in my ears that will NOT go away. After about four straight days of such, I went in to find that...

Well, the doctor didn't really find anything. I had a little bit of sinus drainage, but no ear pressure or infection. Bah, it's so frustrating when you have obscure symptoms. I went in for dizzy spells about six months ago, and they couldn't find anything wrong with me either. I think that I should stick to my mom's rule of thumb for doctor's visits-unless it's a fever or a missing limb, it'll be fine in a few days.

I seriously do hope this ringing goes away though. It's maddening, and I swear it switches ears to mess with me. Gah. It also makes me crabby. Very crabby. I don't like to be crabby, it interrupts my generally neutral mood.

2009-01-15T10:53:00.002-05:00

Facebook and Myspace are very curious things. Through them, I have watched I swear at least 90 percent of the people that I grew up and went to school with get married, have babies, or both. It amazes me that in four years, people have changed so much. I feel like I've only changed a little!

Sure, wedding bells are in my future, but they're distant, and I can't really hear them. (Although lately my ears have been ringing when I'm trying to sleep, but I think that's unrelated. Annoying, but unrelated.) It's like a biological nuclear bomb went off, and my entire home town was in the fallout.

Ha, that makes me sound like such a skeptic! I'm glad for everyone that found someone to make a life with. It just seems like there are a large amount of people who happened to find someone right around the same time.

Perhaps it wouldn't surprise me as much if I weren't Facebook stalking them. But even those that I keep in touch with are slowly finding the path to getting hitched. Yolanda is married, and Dillon is engaged. But I expected that; the men they found are wonderful, and perfect for them.

I think I have to stop typing. I hear bells again.

Bitter, and cold. And bitter.

2009-01-14T10:17:00.002-05:00

It's the type of cold outside that freezes the mucus in your nose as soon as you step outside. Vile be you, mid-January, and bitterly cold. At least the coldest part is here now, which means it can only get better, right?

A former friend contacted me the other day via facebook. Basically, she wondered when I would stop being stubborn and be her friend again. Though I wish her all the best, I refuse to jump back on that horse. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? No thank you. (Haha, I just thought of George Bush quoting lyrics from The Who when I typed that. Ah, what a moron.) Consider this one small step towards finally standing up for myself when I need to.

The installers are coming Thursday to install our radio wave internet. Apparently, they set up a tower on top of our house, and use it to pick up their signal. Anything will beat the cell phone modem that we are using now, and I mean anything. It is almost as bad as 56k. Do people still have 56k? I can't imagine they get very far with it.

While at work the other day, I went to step over a piece of piping while I was inspecting, and I ripped my jeans. Needless to say, I signed up the next day for our plant's biggest loser competition. When I stepped on the scale to weigh in, it was the first time I'd done so in probably two years. Yikes. Looks like I need to cut back on the vending machine sandwiches.

Crazy Little Thing

2009-01-09T23:57:00.002-05:00

I think at this point it's safe to say that I'm head-over-heels, no holds barred in love and I'm powerless to stop it.

It's a funny thing to realize that you can't see yourself with anyone else in the entire world. Especially for me, because I would classify myself as a hopeless skeptic in all things relationship. Growing up, I always felt like I was a bit...off, I guess you would say. Safe to say I was unlike any typical shoe-shopping, oh-my-gosh-are-those-new-boots-they-are-so-cute(!) girl that I'd ever come across. Who would tolerate that? Not that I don't appreciate a new pair of shoes. But I digress.

Time, and a small amount of wisdom have changed my mind. Typical isn't necessarily what it was all cracked up to be, and it was damn sure not what I wanted to be. How boring would life be if you drifted through shallowly, enjoying nothing and appreciating even less? I like a good book, some good music, and to dance down the grocery store aisle while trying to find oatmeal. Simple things, really.

So, being this not quite typical girl, and also being hopelessly stuck in 80's-style hair, by chance I came across the man that not only appreciates my quirks, but quite likes them. Likes them enough, in fact, to dig up his Texas roots and trek with me 1,000+ miles to my home state, and be with me. Romance isn't dead, it was just laying dormant in the Texas countryside for me to find it.

It's hard to describe. I think that my love is like a B action movie. The budget was tight, but the cast was amazing and made you completely look past the technical details. Yes, that seems right in a completely odd way. It's frustrating to me to try and put this into words, because the thought of trying makes me break out into smiles, and think about all of it all over again.

Simply, he makes me feel like nobody could ever take my place, and that just being able to curl up and sleep with me at night is a privilege. I am so glad every day that we found each other, because having him to come home to seems so natural, and perfect. We're dorky, and we're quirky, but we're each other's, for two years and counting. To the love of my life: Thank you for being you, and for loving me as much as I love you.

The view from here.

2008-10-16T09:41:00.002-04:00

The landscape is a-changin'. All the leaves are fading into orange and red and brown, and mornings are chilly when I wake up. I love this time of year. I feel like every time I leave the house there's a photo opportunity everywhere. Derek loves it too. I think Texas lacks the vast quantity of deciduous trees that we have up here. Perhaps I'll take some pictures and post. Perhaps.

I watched the debate between Obama and McCain last night. This was the third debate that I've seen between the two of them, and every one I watch just makes me more and more irritated. It seems like McCain doesn't even listen to a question when it's asked, rather takes the time it would take to respond to call Obama out on how misleading and false he is. Ugh, and when McCain was talking about offshore drilling? He made it sound like the oil was right there and ready to put in a barrel. Are we as Americans that uninformed that people believe that? Not to mention the environmental cost of all that drilling. I swear too that in regards to Palin, McCain said she would be a "breast of fresh air". That's what I heard anyway.

There's a marked difference in strategy between the both of them, from campaign ads to debates. I just feel like I see the same types of things coming from the McCain camp that came from GWB. Of course, at that time I was a month too young to even vote, so I couldn't change anything anyway. I had to watch while for some strange reason we gave that lunatic four more years.

And also? If I hear the term "maverick" come from either McCain or Palin again, I'm throwing the TV out the window.

Patience, patience.

2008-09-23T10:07:00.003-04:00

It's difficult to sit idly by and let people you love make their own mistakes. I feel an acute pain in my tongue every time I know I shouldn't say anything, but sometimes words seem to just leak out. Despite knowing full well that anything I say goes in one ear and out the other, the urge to shout just gets that much stronger.

My brother Les is currently in relationship limbo with a girl that I absolutely cannot stand. She has done so many things to him that are (at least, in my book) completely unworthy of a second chance. For example, one night around 10 Derek and I saw her meeting some guy at a fast food place. They got out of their cars, embraced, chatted for a minute, got back in their cars, and she followed him to his house. Les was never the wiser--she told him she was going to her sister's house.

Now, that little bit right there would be a deal breaker in my book. And with good reason! I don't think anyone deserves to be misled and lied to when they are with someone they "love". I don't think that going through someone's text messages (she did) and forwarding them to your friends (she did) and discussing the female they were adressed to, and whether he likes her more is something to do to someone you "love".

In this case, I think "love" is code for "sex when I want it". At least, I hope it is. I hope it ends soon as well. My tongue is starting to bleed.

Float on

2008-09-07T00:20:00.003-04:00

I talked to my mom the other day while laying in bed and being lazy. I stared up at the popcorn ceiling and it struck me how strange it was that my mother, who had lived in the same town her entire life, was suddenly twelve hours away, leading a life without me. Striking too, the fact that the very ceiling that I was staring at was the same she woke up to for twenty years. She left her house to try and start a restaurant, and left my brother with her nearly-paid-off house. My lack of planning skills when my lease was up landed me back home too, boyfriend in tow.

She sent me a picture in the middle of our conversation, telling me to look at it, then call her back as soon as I saw it. It was a picture of her, about 20 pounds lighter, with hair that barely brushed the tops of her shoulders. All of my childhood, my mom had hair below her belt. She looked like a new person in that picture, one that I didn't quite recognize, but knew very well.

All of that rushed at me all at once. At 44, my mom finally had a chance to start a life that she both dreaded and anticipated; being all grown up. I can't imagine being a mother at 16, and from then on. I suppose that I came full circle that morning, lying in her old bedroom, hearing stories about her new life without me. I'm still here, and she's out in the world just...living. Perhaps that 16-year-old from 1978 was just lying dormant until the right time came, and all the children were grown and independent.

I felt a little hitch in my voice when I told her that I missed her, and I couldn't help but be proud of her for doing exactly what she should do--
Live.

An update.

2008-04-03T10:07:00.002-04:00

Long overdue, wouldn't you say? I have this habit of dropping off the face of the planet at random. The only problem is that when I do that, I never have much in the way of catch-up news.

Not much has changed. Lani and Kellen bought a house, and so they've moved out. In about a month I'll also be moving, because our lease is up and I hate this place. I feel like I pay way too much money to live in an apartment that's so...cheap. Every room has some example of how they cut corners to get this building done as quickly as possible. Although I realize that most tenants trash these places, so they can't justify the cost of effort. I guess. Regardless, I think we may have to replace the carpet in here (which also bugs me. Why put light blue carpet in an apartment? it just begs to get dirty from walking on it!) when we go. Oh, well.

One of the things I will miss about living here is the internet. Cable internet is for sure the way to go. Of course, they don't offer any sort of cable where I'm going. Boo. I wonder how terrible satellite internet is? I'm sure it's atrocious. I don't even want to think about it.

So that's life. Moving, and the internet. I need a hobby.

No rest for the wicked?

2008-02-18T07:28:00.002-05:00

It's a little after 7 this morning, and I have to wonder- Just why the hell am I up?

Oh, that's right. The warm body I sleep next to had to be to work at 8 this morning, and rather than be smart and sleep I got up with him. I've been a second shifter since I started working, so this whole concept of morning doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, do some people actually get up this early on a regular basis? Madness.

My hours at work are soon changing, to accommodate production shift changes. 1pm-9pm, specifically. I think that is excellent, especially since I was working 1-10 until very recently. Hopefully it will work out in such a way that I get more weekends off. We shall see.

I've also been saving money like a madwoman, because my lease is up soon, and I want to move. There are many perks to living in an apartment complex (like someone shoveling my drive for me, and etc), but when it comes down to it, I want something cheaper and a little more private. I hear far too much from my surrounding apartments to assume that they can't hear me.

That's all I have the energy for. I'm going back to bed.

He's home!

2008-02-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

After a week of chaotic flying, packing, driving, sleeping, unpacking, cooking, rearranging, and loving, I have a sweet little collection of yours, mine and ours that I call DerekandMe. It's so nice to fall asleep next to a real, warm body instead of a cell phone. I think we're still basking in the loveliness that is close proximity, and it doesn't even seem real sometimes.

He smooths my hair away from my face in the shower and tells me I'm pretty. Oh, how this man melts me.

I think my favorite part of this whole thing so far is Derek's reaction to snow. A Texan born and bred, he's never seen more than a sprinkling. The day after we got home, we got assaulted by wind gusts and 17 degree weather.

We had to buy him boots and a proper coat, needless to say.

Life so far has slowly been trying to slip into a normal routine of waking up together, drinking coffee, and being silly and grossly in love.

Bliss? For sure.

Frightful!

2008-01-17T23:24:00.000-05:00

That's the only way to describe the weather for the last two days. Horribly windy, dark, snowy. I don't like to drive in it, not at all.

But I have to get home from work some how, so I brave the elements, try not to break my ass in the parking lot, and start meandering my way home.

Last night's drive was the first time I've ever been pulled over. I almost shit. I mean, I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong in terms of speeding, but I think everyone gets a guilty conscience when they see flashing lights.

My license plate light was burned out. *rolls eyes* The cop told me to get it fixed and then drove off. How boring! I think part of me expected something exciting, like a library book fine or something that had a bench warrant attached. Boo. Oh, well.

This weekend will see me cleaning, organizing, and de-cluttering in anticipation for the big move! I'm starting to freak out a tad, but I think that's understandable. How often do you import your significant other from over 1,000 miles away?

Pineapples 101: A lesson.

2008-01-13T22:16:00.000-05:00

While I was out grocery shopping on Wednesday night, I decided to buy myself a nice big, prickly pineapple. See, if you've ever had a fresh pineapple, you know there is no comparison between canned and the real deal.

Some people, however, are intimidated. I mean a gigantic, jagged fruit seems like quite a lot of work to get to the sweet, juicy middle. But I promise, it's not hard at all! Just follow my Stephany tested, Stephany approved steps:

Step one: buy a pineapple.
I recommend one that is almost this yellow, but it can sit in your kitchen window until it is.

Step Two: Cut the top off.
A straight edge would've been nice. I suck. Lay it on its side; your knife will go right through.

Step Three: Cut the pineapple in half, down the middle.

Step Four: Segment the halves.
I was taking pictures in "scene" mode this whole time. No wonder the flash didn't work...

Step...er Five? Yes, Five: Cut off the outside.
I just use my big knife, but if you want to be perfect, a paring knife works too. Make sure you get all those little prickly things off the sides; they don't feel good going down... or coming out.

Step Six: Remove the core.
Pineapples have a dense core that's no good to eat. Cut a "U" shape away from the fruit.

Step Seven: Chunk it.
Cutting the fruit into bite-sized chunks is my preference, but storage is easier.

Step Eight: Store it.
Pineapple will keep in your fridge for about two weeks.

Well, that's all there is to it! After I covered myself in sweet, sticky pineapple goo, I took a second to enjoy a piece of all my hard work:

MmMmMmMmmmm, fruit.

Calling.

2008-01-10T22:42:00.000-05:00

While cleaning the other day (hooray for motivation!), I started to tidy my vastly-overfilled-and-suPer-cheap bookcase. Looking at all the random books and bits of paper, photos, etc, I realized that I have at least 5 journals. At one time in my life, I would pick at least one of them up every day and write in it. It wasn't always something inspiring that I wrote, or even coherent. Sometimes I would fill pages with the thoughts running through my head at that exact moment.

I also realized that I haven't written in one of those 5 journals in at least a year.

Have I really let my passion fall by the wayside? Writing used to be a goal, and those journals represented the journey towards my biggest goal: to get published. I've allowed myself to be swallowed up in working, rather than trying to balance my living with my passion. The funny thing about creativity and talent is that if you neglect them long enough, they get rusty and eventually stop working.

Let's hope like hell it isn't too late. I'm off to find a pen.

Two weeks...

2008-01-07T23:21:00.000-05:00

That's all. I'm freaking out a little.

It's times like these that I doubt my ability to be a good girlfriend. I'm sure things will be fine most of the time, but other times I think about how messy I am, how I get grumpy in the mornings, how I leave my wet towel on the bed and it makes a spot on the sheets. Things that I convince myself will, in time, drive Derek batty.

I've never lived with a love before. Hell, I'm not sure I've every truly been in love at all until this time. I want things to be perfect (which they won't be), and I want us to be blissfully happy at all times (which is impossible). Grah. My daydreams get frustrated with me.

When it comes down to it, I just don't want to wait anymore. I'd rather grab this new phase of our relationship and run with it. But I can't. This sort of life move takes planning, scheduling, packing, etc.

The sort of things that I'm terrible at.

He'll be home for good in two weeks. I'm a nervous wreck that's desperately in love.

Evacuate!

2008-01-02T11:00:00.000-05:00

"Evacuate!," my body screams to every fluid and semi-solid it has. "Get out, and get out now!"

So I've spent the morning trying to have an open toilet for whichever emergency exit is being evacuated first. >.<

Work's gonna be fantastic.

Oh, the anticipation!

2007-12-27T00:05:00.000-05:00

Derek's moving January 26th. I think his blog sums it up quite well.

Oh, the waistline is a-growin'.

2007-12-25T23:18:00.000-05:00

After heaping doses of chocolate covered heavenly bits, mashed potatoes, and hours of sitting and watching I Love the 80's....

I'm stuffed, and I feel excessively chubby. I went to put a pair of jeans on yesterday that fit mere days before, and I felt like I was a snake shedding its too-small skin.

Not a cool feeling, especially when you're already -ahem- plus-sized.

Despite that feeling of chocolate-induced gut pain, the last few weeks have been stellar. I came back from Texas last Monday, after a snow storm Sunday canceled all Detroit flights. I didn't mind a whole lot, because it was like an extra free day to spend with Derek. While I was down there, I really got to bond with his mom (which I was terrified to do, for no real reason), and I think she feels a little better about his decision to move up to Michigan with me at the end of January.

Holy shit, kids. The end of January! I can't wait. I told Derek while I was down visiting that I don't ever (and I mean ever) want to go six months without seeing him again. Ever. I think that's fair. Who would have thought? This all started with a conversation about SLR cameras (on Myspace, of all places) about 2 years ago, and now I've got this love, and I can't live without it. Or, at least I don't want to.

I suppose in a very annotated way, I just told the story of Derek and I. Funny how I've tried and tried to write posts about it, and all it took was about a sentence and a half to get to the meat and bones of the situation out there.

Either way, I'm ridiculously happy. Aaand, my anniversary is coming up.

Will I get diamonds??!?!¿!!

.......Probably not. Clear rocks are slightly overrated, in my book. Either way, if you're loved as much as I am, no diamond can compare.

To summarize:

2007-12-08T01:46:00.000-05:00

My house is a shambles.
I leave for Texas in like...a freakin' day!?
I'm not packed.
This entry is not, in fact, helping situations in the least.
I had 56 hours at work last week, despite a cold.
(Therefore? I rock. Hard.)
I want sweet Texan lovin'. I've not had it for at least 6 months.
I'm nowhere near done with my Christmas shopping.
My bills are all paid and up-to-date!
I'm tired/addicted to white grape juice.

To fingerpaint is not a sin...

2007-12-02T19:58:00.000-05:00

I'm still very cough/hack/gag/ish, but I really do feel much better than I did the other day. It's weird though, because I think the cough got worse =\. Oh, well. Any excuse to take Nyquil and get a fantastic night of uninterrupted, snoring sleep is OK in my book.

I'm leaving in a week for Texas! Hooray for that. I spent today double-checking my (super cheap!) tickets, and packing a little. When I flew out of Lansing the last time I went down there, all I had to do was put my credit card into the kiosk and poof! --it spit out tickets. Is that a common thing, or should I print out my E-tickets? Oh, the decisions. Maybe I will, just in case. That, and I'm flying out of Detroit this time, and I'm not as familiar with that airport. I mean, it's one HELL of a big place compared to Lansing.

Example: Lansing only has 1 (that's right, one) baggage claim, and only 4 or 5 gates. Haha.

I got Derek something ridiculously cool for Christmas. I would link, but he sneaks onto my blog every now and again and leaves crumbs on my pillow. Maybe when I'm absolutely sure he won't discover me, I'll post. It's nice. I have to Fedex it to his house though, because I don't want to have to check it/carry it through the airport/really do anything but wrap it. I'm sending it to his mom, so he isn't tempted to spoil the surprise.

I'm so ready to go already! True too, that my year anniversary with him is in a month. What girly mush. I love it.

'Tis the season.

2007-11-29T22:58:00.000-05:00

Despite the crowds, the traffic, the absolute frigid cold, and the hype....

I really wish I had gone shopping after Thanksgiving. Like, marathon, soccer-mom style. Sweatpants, coupons, and 5 a.m. early bird specials. I feel like I missed out on some crazy deals.

But then again, I didn't have to wait in line for hours, battle mall parking, or have things stolen out of my hands. I got to cuddle in my nice warm bed and sleep for hours.

Yeah, that was a better plan.

I should probably be putting myself to bed right now, since I've been coughing and hacking up all colors and textures of mucus. Eww, mucus. My head feels heavy, and my eyes are itchy. I've caught a sniffle from someone at work, methinks. At least it isn't bronchitis; that's terrible stuff. This is nothing that a little R&R and chicken soup won't fix.

I go to Texas in 11 days. I'm so excited! I feel like I should start packing now, so that I won't be swamped with it right before I leave. Most likely scenario: I pack a couple hours before I have to leave for the airport. Such is my life.

To summarize...

2007-11-26T00:12:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving/Birthday hullabaloo was absolute fun!

Chocolate! (how unexpected and fun!) from someone who rocks.
Dillon! Always great to see her smiling face. Always
Bar 1: Midnight, biggest bar night of the year. No standing room. Bye!
Bar 2: Mere seconds from closing. Lame.
Bar 3: Jackpot! 2 long islands the size of a soda glass, and a tequila sunrise later... I felt flushed.
Thanksgiving/Day of birthday: Turkey! Turkey? Turkey...
Sleep.
Bowling on Friday with all my friends. More long islands, and my little brother came too. Much fun

It was a blast, this birthday of mine. Now, only two more weeks until I fly down to see Derek! I love this time of year.

And...

2007-11-20T23:55:00.001-05:00

I'm so ready to party! One day away...

Writing to the masses.

2007-11-17T20:13:00.001-05:00

Stolen idea, muaha!

It's a tad early, but..

2007-11-16T17:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Dillon!!
I love you bunches and bunches!

You'll never see this, but...

2007-11-15T23:15:00.000-05:00

I don't hate living with you guys. I think this time of year makes me kind of....blah. I get sad, withdrawn, depressed. Add that to the fact that I work a completely opposite shift from you, and it may seem that things get blown way out of proportion.

I feel like I work all the damned time. Thus, my dog becomes your responsibility. I know you don't like him, and I hate making him live in this itty bitty little apartment, when he's used to clouds and trees and wide open spaces. I doubt that he hates it, but I'm sure he misses grass, the way it used to be.

I know that I'm messy, and I know that I make messes. [I'm unmotivated. I'm lazy.] I can feel your discontent with me when I walk through a room. It's tangible.

So I sit in here, feed my dog, and type things to you on the internet that you'll never see.

I need social interaction with people that I love. Please forgive me for being this way?

It's official.

2007-11-11T23:46:00.000-05:00

Winter's here.

And it's damned cold, already. Usually snow flies around my birthday (which is less than two weeks away now). It can't be that late in the year already, can it? I mean hell, what did I do with all of 2007? I spent most of it in this very apartment, or at work.

I'm a boring individual, I guess.

Then again, I did do some cool stuff this year, including:

Meeting Derek.
Moving into my own place for the first time ever.
Getting a promotion at work, and then department jumping.
Inking it up for the 4th time, and piercing myself in some painful places.

All cool things, but did it really take a whole year to accomplish all that?

A whole year, for 4 bulletins.

Jeesh.

I've been trying to write the meat and bones of Derek and I's relationship, but every time I do I end up pitching it. I think that there's just so much to tell that I'm not sure what to include, and what to keep out. If I explained it very basically, it would take probably not take very long. I just want it to be a good story, is all, because it is a good story.

My Derek story.

2007-11-06T01:01:00.000-05:00

"What's the matter?"

"I'm nervous."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say. "Do you want some gum?"

He thought about it for a second. "No, mint makes me feel nauseous when I'm nervous" He laughed a little, and squeezed my hand.

I smiled at him. "It'll be fine, babe-o. I promise. It's not that bad."

That said, we went up to the door. The open sign flicked on and a tall, skinny, tattooed fellow they called Brain came up to the counter. "Can I help you?" He pushed his glasses back onto his face.

"Well, I have an appointment, but you can help him." I dragged Derek up beside me. "Show him what you want, babe."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Derek and I both agree that this is one of our favorite times together so far; the day he turned 21, and got his first tattoo. I got one, too. It was a great birthday, even if it wasn't my own.

When we got home, it was time to take my bandage off. I had just gotten my chest tattooed, and it was very dry, raw, and sore. His was flaky, and I took him in the bathroom to show him how to wash new ink. To return the favor, he helped me wash mine.

And you know, it' something silly and small, but the feeling I had while he washed that sore spot was the purest love I've ever felt. I remember just looking at him, and realizing that I fell so hard for him that I hit pavement. It was thrilling, and exhilarating.

I miss you, Derek. Come home soon.

Oh, guess what!?

2007-11-05T00:13:00.000-05:00

My birthday is in SEVENTEEN days.

I like polka dots, chocolate, music, and paper. And haircuts. FYI.

Currently...

2007-10-24T23:00:00.001-04:00

Currently Eating: Roasted red pepper hummus and pita chips. Mmmm.

Currently Reading: Updated blogs.

Currently Listening to: "Burn the Witch", Queens of The Stone Age, on the album "Lullabies to Paralyze".

Currently Wearing: A gray tee with a gray thermal, jeans, and slippers.

Currently Anticipating: Me birthday!

Currently Thinking about: How much I miss my babe-o, and how much money I have to spend in the next 2 months on bills. Egad =\

Currently Wondering: If anybody is ever curious about the story of Derek.

Currently Should be: Doing laundry, and cleaning my bathroom.

Current plans for the weekend: Non-existent.

Currently feeling: Meh.

On seasons.

2007-10-22T11:15:00.000-04:00

Michigan is a beautiful place to be this time of year. The leaves are turning into little bits of red, orange, sometimes even the purest yellow. They're so gorgeous. I need a nice day off to go out and take pictures before all the leaves fall, and the trees are naked. It's odd, but I'm actually kind of looking forward to snow this year. I want to build a snowman of some fashion.

I still miss Derek terribly, but that won't change for a while. I'm flying down to see him the 9th of December, and I'll be there for about 9 days. I cannot wait until he's home with me for good. All this distance just plain sucks. Plus, plane tickets aren't cheap, either.

In other news, I'll be 21 in a month from today! Oh, the excitement.The best part will be attempting to take a driver's license picture that doesn't look like crap. My current picture's a peach, let me tell you. Derek was with me when I got it( which was fun, because apparently not every state in this country has a Secretary of State...didn't know that), and I remember not even looking at the screen when she took the picture. I got back in the car saying "wow, that'll look like crap when I get it back."

And it totally did. No smile, nothing. I had the look on my face that every person in line before and after me had; "I hate coming here. This sucks."

In other news, there was a leak of the new Mars Volta album. Three songs, and I got them all. I'm excited for the new album, because these three tracks were a fabulous tease.

And also: New Radiohead. It's phenomenal. Purchase! In fact, you can download it for free right from them, if you are so inclined.

That is all. Halloween soon, yay!

100 things.

2007-10-18T00:07:00.000-04:00

It occurred to me today, while I was visiting some of my favorite blogs, that I have never, in almost 5 years of blogging, I have never created a list of 100 random facts.

I know, I know. Blasphemy. The list of 100 things is something that is kind of expected I think. I like to read everyone's lists, because I think the way they're put together says a lot about the person that wrote it.

So, without further ado:

100 THINGS (in no particular order)

My favorite color is Red.
I hate peanut butter.
I'm terrified of spiders, and almost just as scared of the dark.
I nightmare far too frequently for my age.
I like to go paper shopping, but I hate scrapbooking. Evil thing...
I met the love of my life on Myspace.
I have an older sister, and a younger brother. I look like neither.
My neighbor brought my sister and I to church when I was very young.
I smoked pot for the first time when I was 13.
When I get nervous or anxious, my hands start to ache. Sometimes, it's agony.
My favorite smells involve vanilla, coconut, or baking bread.
I've known how to cook since elementary school.
I used to raise cattle for freezer beef. Now, I don't eat red meat.
I'm glucose intolerant.
My hair was down to my rear for most of my life, until the 11th grade.
I'm terrified to death that I'll be a bad mom, so I kind of don't want children.
I spend more money on music than I probably should.
My favorite candy bar is an Almond Joy.
I hate feet. Very much so.
My favorite song is "One Headlight", by the Wallflowers.
Men with really long hair often intimidate and scare me. No idea why.
I still sleep with my security blanket.
I make a killer homemade pasta sauce.
I prefer to sleep in a cool room.
I snore.
I'm grumpy in the morning.
I've visited Florida, Indiana, Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas, and Canada.
Writing is my solace.
I have the dorkiest hiccup in the world. It sounds like my lungs are trying to escape.
I speak enough Spanish to carry on a basic conversation.
I'm left-handed.
I'm horribly disorganized and messy.
I love to take pictures.
Grammar & spelling are very important to me. Typos make me twitch, especially my own.
I've never been very happy with my body.
My grandma calls me Stuff.
Everyone else in my family calls me Ninny.
I used to be very good at pig Latin.
I like to craft, but not in the Walmart sort of way.
My two best friends and I referred to ourselves as the "three musketeers" in high school.
Roasted red pepper hummus owns.
Cold will always be my sentimental favorite band, for more reasons than can be counted.
I grew up on a small farm in rural Michigan.
$600 is all that stood between me and college after I graduated high school.
--I came up short.
I can't stand "chick flicks".
I rarely watch TV.
In the 6th grade, I got blood poisoning from a cut on my knee. They had to lance it.
I don't like going to the doctor's office.
I'm bad with money.
I'm scared to put rings on at stores, because I worry they won't come back off.
My real father died when I was 17. He drank himself to death.
Someday, I want my skin to be a mural underneath my shirt.
I woke up to a rat on my bed once at my mom's house.
The man I call dad and my mom were never married, but they were together 10+ years.
I dye my hair brown, but I'm a natural dirty blonde.
I'm a cusp of the Sagittarius sign.
My best feature is my eyes. My worst is everything from there, down.
My dog's name, bubkes, means "nothing" in Yiddish.
The movie "The 40-year-old virgin" cracks me up like no other.
My birthday falls on Thanksgiving quite often.
I can never find jeans that fit just right.
I worry about anything and everything, for no real reason sometimes.
I lived in the same house my entire life until January of 2007.
My grandma made me a leopard-print quilt one year for Christmas.
I know how to can fruits, veggies, jams, jellies, and pickles. I can also make sauerkraut.
Scrabble is my favorite board game.
I used to go hunting with my dad, so I could take pictures out in the woods.
I'm perhaps too easily forgiving.
My favorite part on a man is his hands, firstly. Then, his eyes.
My mom and I sewed both my Junior and Senior prom dresses.
I don't own many blue articles of clothing, aside from jeans.
The nicest thing I own is my computer. It's not that top-of-the-line, either.
I don't think waiting to have sex until marriage makes much sense.
I'm pro-choice. Everyone should make decisions for themselves.
I can talk on the phone for hours, if I don't despise who I'm talking to.
I'm ridiculously superstitious.
My mom has been a mother since she was 16.
My face turns red a lot, sometimes even if I'm not embarrassed.
I have a mole under my right breast that I thought was a 3rd nipple when I was younger.
I haven't talked to my dad in over a year.
One of the first babysitters I went to was abusive. So was her son.
I took a tap dance class when I was 9 or 10.
My middle name is Michelle.
7 is my (and everyone else's) lucky number.
I took wrestling statistics when I was in high school, so I could watch matches for free.
Orange sherbet is heaven in a tub.
I ate ramen almost every day when I was a freshman. I haven't eaten it since.
Walmart is evil. Meijer, however, rocks.
I have to know what time it is, exactly. Clocks that are intentionally set ahead bug me.
I'm pale. Like, graveyard tan pale.
I can't draw hands. Most of my early drawings of people have their hands hidden.
I met the band Lacuna Coil. Christina Scabbia was wearing the same belt I was.
I would have Val Kilmer's babies. If not him, Chris Cornell. If not him, Christian Bale.
I like my tea without sugar, thank you. Unless it's hot.
I have a colorless mole under my left eye.
I've only ever had one pregnant dream. The baby girl's name was Tara.
I played soccer my senior year of high school.
I make a wish if I see 11:11 on the clock.
I like to go camping.
This took at least a couple hours for me to complete.

This little life of mine.

2007-10-16T01:24:00.000-04:00

My ability to avoid things that bother me is amazing.

Apparently, my roommates hate my dog. He keeps them up when they're trying to sleep and I'm at work, and he gets into stuff. Of course they didn't tell me this outright until they were completely ready to blindside me with it. Oh, and also make me wonder why they seemed so pissy with me when I got home from work and they were just waking up.

Let it be known that their dog has kept me up on numerous occasions with his barking. But I don't bitch or get pissy about it. I mean hell, what are they going to do while they're at work? I deal. I don't understand why they can't. Besides, he'd be more than happy to sleep at the foot of their bed while they slept....

Maybe I don't command enough respect from humanity.

Know anybody who wants a dog? He's cute and loving.

Grah. Annoyed. Frustrated. Voiceless. Such is my life in a nutshell.

Lucy: Daughter of the Devil -

2007-10-08T11:31:00.001-04:00

So I asked Derek what I should blog about, and he came up with this. This show is on adult swim, and it's fucking hilarious. I love it. Derek loves it, too. This is from the first episode we ever watched.

Let it be known...

2007-10-06T12:57:00.001-04:00

That although I'm not very fashionable, I can't imagine that a jacket that looks like the outside of an avocado peaks many people's interest.

*shudder*

On Changes.

2007-09-29T00:51:00.000-04:00

If I haven't said it before, I'll say it now:

Stephany does not do well with change.

Thusly, the fact that my mother just pulled up stakes and moved more than 10 hours away is making me a tad uncomfortable. To say the least. I'll be the last to admit how much I need my mommy. But when it comes down to it, the idea of having to drive for a day just to see her makes me sad and shaky.

I definitely took for granted before the fact that if I wanted to see her, or I needed her, she was right there, keeping up the same house that she has been for 20+ years. Nobody thinks about how it feels when the nest that you recently left is now......completely. empty. Not even a gatekeeper to keep the crows from tearing it down.

Miss her, I do. And she's only been gone 2 days.

I have this picture of her in a frame that I took with my old Minolta SLR camera that captures her perfectly. It was on a day that she was baking, so she was wearing her signature way-too-big, I'm-baking t-shirt and an unbrushed single braid that reached the small of her back. The light from the kitchen window illuminated the smoke wafting from her Pall Mall as she exhaled into the air near her proofing bread. If I only had one way to remember her, it would be that picture.

I'm getting a tad choked up.

I know she's not gone forever, and I know that she's still there for me. I just kind of wish that I had let on how much I would miss her before she left. Maybe then I wouldn't be hurting so bad.

Hmmm.

2007-09-21T00:38:00.000-04:00

Derek, when asked what I should blog about today, responded with the following:

"Hmm, I don't know.
[big pause]
...blog about being on your period?"

I shall refrain.

Finally...

2007-09-15T21:55:00.000-04:00

I got out of the department that I've worked in for the last year. I am the new 2nd shift Quality Assurance Technician!

(which is actually a job that isn't dead-end, and doesn't fear intelligence)

Hooray for that!

I start Monday, thank the gods.

Now? I must crash. Something about 60+ hours in a week catches up to you eventually. I can't imagine why...

Stuck in the middle.

2007-09-13T12:35:00.000-04:00

Today marks the halfway point of my 6-day, 60+ hour work week.

I'm so tired...

And also...

2007-09-09T17:16:00.000-04:00

I had so much fun guessing at Vuboq's meme, that I decided to do my own.

Not that as many people read this...Nonetheless:

1) Put your mp3 player or music player on your computer on random.
2)Post the first four lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (Skip repeat artists).
3) Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.

Tommy can you hear me?
Can you feel me near you?
Tommy can you see me?
Can I help to cheer you?
I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
Things like....
"Fuck yourself"
I read the news today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
Have you been headwired
Were you satisfied
Did it free the feelings in your spine
Sleeping way inside all this time
kiss and kill me sweetly
come and drive me home
drag the miles in me
I am yours alone
Get up and jump, get up and jump, get up, get up, get up and jump
Jump on up
Jump on down
Just jump a jump a jump a jump a jump around
And my words will be here when I’m gone
As I’m fading away against the wind
And the words you left me linger on
As I’m failing again now, never to change this
I used to live in a room full of mirrors
All I could see was me
Then I take my spirit and I smash my mirrors
And now the whole world is here for me to see
Gave all the vampires back
To God that day
No one got raped here
But the pains still inside "Sick Of Man" by Cold. Guessed correctly by Kim. (I knew you'd get it ;]).
I fall over and over and over over over on you
I get ill, I get ill, I get ill, you're the only one I'm into
You and me
Fit so tight
I heard your heartbeat
and my body grew so still
I looked into your mothers eyes
and I knew you were alive
Well, the clock says it's time to close now
I guess I'd better go now
I'd really like to stay here all night, all night.
I don't know whose side I'm on
I don't think that I belong round here
If I left the stage would that be wrong ?
Forced, we're forced feeding you lines, feeding you.
Look how high I'm jumping from, you'll never make it.
I know what it feels like
giving in to something you don't understand
I got so much trouble on my mind,
That I feel like I'm always sleeping with the enemy
But I know the real world always gets the last word
And that's why you gotta kick reality.
Can you figure out what I want, pull the trigger with a pop gun.
Mindless fools that aggravate it pick at you in desperation
Oh it's a love pop suicide
Oh I'm in love pop suicide Pop love Suicide, by Stone Temple Pilots. Guessed correctly by Kim.
My brother kicked his feet to sleep
my brother kicked his feet to sleep
my brother kicked his feet to sleep
and i sang the dirge song.
On the turning away
from the pale and downtrodden
and the words they say
which we won't understand
Sundown dazzling day
Gold through my eyes
But my eyes turned within
Only see
Think we know
Oblivious though
Unified clones
Sit like stones

There you have it. Bit of an ecclectic mess, but that's what happens when you have something like 19GB of music on your computer... Enjoy!

Today.

2007-09-09T14:01:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning to a beautiful almost fall day. The sun was golden, the leaves were a million little emeralds shining from the dew. Oh, so gorgeous.

I went grocery shopping, and I brought home some asparagus and a whole roasting chicken to make for dinner. I think I may make biscuits, too. We'll just have to see.

Today's one of those lovely, lazy days. I feel like just lounging about and enjoying the buttery sunlight that's pouring through the sliding glass door. I think I may do just that.

Hope the weekend was fabulous for all of you.

How wrong is it....

2007-09-06T11:16:00.000-04:00

That this made me laugh out loud?

Why, I never.

2007-09-03T14:50:00.000-04:00

The itch of insomnia has been creeping back into me lately. I found myself red-eyed and wide awake until almost 5 this morning. It's agony.

Don't blame me being on the internet until around 4:30, either. Sometimes getting on the computer and realizing that ~~sane~~ most people have long ago called it a night helps me wind down.

Lately I've let stress affect my sleep. I've been on a continuous hormone roller-coaster for about 2 months, my co-workers are engaging in dramatics, and I miss Puz. That lovely trio has made me moody, sad, lazy, and sleepless.

I won't lie, but most of my problem is that suddenly I'm a sad, needy person that misses my better half.

Last night, right before bed, on the phone:

Puz: I love you, babe-o.

Me: I love you, too.
(pause)
....The longer you're away, the more it hurts.

And then, for some reason, the thought of running my hands through his hair made me so sad that little Stephany-feels-sad tears started slipping out of my eyes and running onto the pillow.

Gah.

After all that fun I couldn't sleep. I never thought I would miss someone so bad. I never thought I would truly need someone as much as I need that man.

I'm sorry if my sad neediness makes you want to vomit. I can't help it.

I'll be better in January, I promise.

And Also...

2007-09-03T04:05:00.000-04:00

I Can't sleep.

>.<

On Mood.

2007-09-02T22:39:00.000-04:00

I feel bitchy today.

And I don't feel like doing much about it.

That's all.

On Waiting.

2007-08-29T12:30:00.000-04:00

Caution! Sappy, gut-manglingly- girly entry ahead.

Read on if you dare.
----------------------------------------------------------

This is the good part. This is the part where we both know exactly how we feel, where we stand, and what we want. It's the most clear-cut and honest relationship I've known. It's so....natural. I fit with you in every way. My puzzle piece, and without you my heart is incomplete.

But sometimes the act of missing you makes me forget. It makes me frustrated and sad, and I know I take it out on you sometimes when I don't realize.

This is the hard part. Knowing we're so close to no longer having to miss and hope and wish, but also knowing that we have to wait longer than we want. I want to just drop everything and run away to you sometimes. You know, be the epitome of a bad teenage girl (which I'm not) and just drop everything and be irresponsible(which I can't). But damn, it sounds tempting.

I really miss your breath on my shoulder when I sleep, and the way you look at me like I'm the only girl in the world. I'd rather wait forever than be without you.

I'm sure that all this is doing is making me sound like a sappy mess, but the sentiment remains.

I love you. I miss you. I can't wait until you come home to me. ♥

Mod-O-Rama.

2007-08-25T23:27:00.000-04:00

I've had a lot of ink done over the last few years, and there is plenty more to come, I assure you. Some people that have been reading my blog for a long time asked about a few of them.

So, behold! A photo gallery, displaying my various ink and metal modifications! Hooray, right?

Steph's very first tattoo.

I got this tattoo shortly after I graduated from high school. It's the zodiac symbol for Sagittarius, and I'd always wanted it. I was afraid to show it to my mom right after I got it, and when I finally did show her, she freaked out. A little. Eventually, she accepted the fact and moved on. I'd like to change it a little, but I still like the idea.

Steph's second (and a tad larger) tattoo.

The artist that gave me my first tattoo also gave me my second. This one took a little longer than my 10-minute first tat, but I liked the charcoal look that it had. The most painful spot was the very bottom of the wings. This one currently needs retouched.

Steph's Third (and most meaningful) tattoo.

The top center of my back reads "Poeta nascutir, Non fit" ; "A poet is born, not made." This latin phrase means so much to me, because I feel like writing is an integral part of my life. I can't imagine how different I would be without my poetry, and prose. I went to a new artist for this tattoo, and picked the font and size myself. Lani helped him place it, to make sure it wasn't crooked =P.

Steph's fourth (and by far the most painful) tattoo.

I got this tattoo on Derek's birthday, when I went with him to get his very first tattoo (which was very exciting!). Moon, stars, and clouds, on the top center of my chest. This tattoo represents my fascination and appreciation for the night sky. It inspires me. I went to another new artist for this tattoo, and I will continue going back to him. The stencil he drew for this tattoo had nothing but the outline of the moon on it; the rest was freehand. This is the only tattoo I have that has color in it, and I can't wait to expand on it. Thus far, this one is my favorite piece. I'd never bled during a tattoo until this one(and I bled lots), and it got very raised and scabbed and gross. And man, did it hurt. Very worth it, though. Needs a little bit of touchup-ery.

Combination tattoo and lip piercing pic!
I got my lip pierced in May of '07. It really didn't hurt, but like any metal it gets aggravated every now and again. Afterwards, I went to Panera bread for lunch, and tried to eat a ciabatta. Bad idea...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, there you have it, all of my various splashes of color, and a little metal. These pieces are just the beginning; I don't intend to be head-to-toe tattoos, but there are definitely more that I want. Just takes some time, some money, and some inspiration.

It's the money that I have trouble finding. Enjoy!

Cramping my style.

2007-08-21T11:28:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning to my dog heaving in the direction of the carpet. My attempt to get him outside in time was fruitless, and he puked up something yellow all over the floor. Yum. It wasn't even a natural shade of yellow, either. This was like, radioactive. Sick.

I got it cleaned up, still half-dreaming and stumbly, and then I drug myself down the fire escape so he could go to the bathroom.

Before I say anything more, I should make it clear that I adore my dog. I've had him since he was born, and now that he's finally living with me ( he had to stay at my mom's until I could find a place that would let me have him), he's much happier. But damn, he cramps my style. I miss the days of being completely selfish and sleeping until noon, I really do.

But, c'mon! How could you not love that face?

Or, how he curls into his little blankie?

Personally, I can't resist the old man. He gets Stephany smooches.

Maybe once I figure out how to make a special post, and stick it in that nifty little sidebar to your right (over there ---->), I'll make a photo gallery of my pets!

Or maybe I'll just sleep. We'll see.

So. Tired.

2007-08-17T18:52:00.000-04:00

I haven't been sleeping well for nearly two weeks now. I fall asleep just fine, but after about an hour I toss and turn for the rest of the night. It's left me a tad short-tempered and emotional, I won't lie. That, coupled with the fact that I finally decided to kick that terrible habit that I picked up about 2 years ago--smoking--, has made this girl...

Pretty un-like herself, that's for sure.

In other news, Sprint can take their phone service and stick it. I'm so unhappy with my service through them. I'm constantly being overcharged, and technically my contract means nothing because they charge me roaming even though my plan includes it.

Grah. I hate it. But at the same time, I need it because no phone=no Derek. And we can't have that, now can we?

It's so expensive just to keep my plan, that it would be cheaper in the long run for me to terminate my contract early, pay the fee, and go with someone else. Like Verizon. Besides, I really want one of these anyway. So cute and useful! Like me!

Hah.

Here's hoping for a nice, stress-free weekend. Cross your fingers for me?

On people.

2007-08-15T02:16:00.000-04:00

When I got out of work today, I was so fed up with social interaction that it was giving me a migraine. I've never been able to understand why some people feel it necessary to be absolute pricks for the sake of making others miserable.

I work with a few. It seems these types of people are not happy unless they are criticizing something you're doing, however trivial.

It makes me want to scream, cry, and quit sometimes.

But then I get out of work, hop into my '93 Lesabre , and drive myself home, realizing that this place wouldn't be home without said job. I also realize that no matter where I end up in life, I'm always going to encounter people with which I don't get along. So thinking, I let that anger and frustration slowly fizzle, and enjoy my evening.

So that's what I'm doing this evening, dammit. Because if I didn't, I'd go mad.

Oh, and feel free to stalk my boyfriend as you peruse this wonderful thing that is the internet.

On Clothing.

2007-08-12T21:15:00.000-04:00

I found the most brilliant idea, ever today. I would like to kiss whoever decided to finally do this right on the mouth. I have a bum in these pants, kids.

And you know, people can make fun of Lane Bryant all they want, but when it comes down to it I'll walk out of there with a huge bag of stuff, and do you know why?

Because stuff fits. And that happens to be mildly important.

So yeah, I had a good shop today. Hooray for pants that fit my bum the right way!

Car Shopping.

2007-08-11T14:52:00.000-04:00

I went car hunting yesterday with my sister's husband, Chuck. We drove around for nearly 4 hours looking for what I want.

I got sunburn on my arm from hanging my arm out the window while riding shotgun. Ouch.

The kicker? Despite the fact that we drove miles upon miles, and checked every dealership that we could possibly think of checking..........Nobody had the Malibu that I want.

Nobody?! How the hell does that happen? It's not like I'm trying to find something like this, for god's sake. It's a relatively common model.

Maybe everyone around here is buying them up because they know I want one. I smell a conspiracy...

On Vehicles.

2007-08-10T03:39:00.000-04:00

I'm in the market for a new car, currently. I've never had enough money before to have a choice as to what kind of vehicle I can have.

I think having that choice will be the death (or debt?) of me.

I want a Chevy Malibu so bad. They're absolutely sexy, and good on gas.

But you have to understand something.

This is what I drive, currently.

For those of you who don't recognize it, that's a 1993 Buick LeSabre. Comparable to driving a swamp boat through the everglades, it boasts power windows, locks, and-remarkably- an after-market CD player. Unlike this picture, mine is missing the front driver side hubcap, because my brother failed to replace it properly. Thanks, Les.

I paid a grand for that damned thing! It owes me absolutely nothing; after I knock profusely on wood, I will continue to say that it has been dependable and has only required routine maintenance since I got it.

This is what I want.
It's not a sports car, by any means. It's not even a car a high school boy would die to have. But I waaant it. It just...appeals to me.

I don't know if I can afford it, though. I've never had a payment plan on anything in my life.

Woe is me?

Sunday.

2007-08-05T17:08:00.001-04:00

The day of rest. Or, in my case, the day of Complete and Utter Boredom.

I really need to get myself out of the house. I'm going batshit.

My dog had icky poo earlier, like he ate something funny. We had a big dinner last night with Lani's family..I wonder if he got into some leftovers. Ick.

Stir-crazy.......grah.

I was googleing it up today, and I found a gorgeous black and white Iris that I want to modify and make into a tattoo. Irises are my favorite flower; so gorgeous. Looky:
Isn't that great? I would want there to be a little more contrast on the petals themselves, and nix the background. I'll have to bring it to my artist and see what he can do. Maybe a teeensy bit of color, too. We'll see.

Weee! Boredom! >.<

I have got to go do something. Seriously.

On Love.

2007-08-03T12:59:00.000-04:00

I've had the privilege in my life to meet some of the most amazing friends a girl could ever ask for. Real people that listen when you need them to, and appreciate your sense of humor.

Even if the thought of a random pan of lasagna strikes you as so funny, there are tears in your eyes and you can't talk because you're laughing so hard. True story.

I met Dillon my freshman year of high school, but I made a place for her in my heart my junior year. She's the type of person that you can talk to for hours about nothing, and everything at the same time. Smart, funny, and a dork. She is one of the loves of my life. Dillon, in short, is beautiful and she doesn't know it. Her love and honesty have kept me warm from afar since she went on to college.

Lani and I met around the same time. Her ability to say exactly what I'm thinking continues to amaze me. She is strong, passionate, and opinionated. Lani occupies the same little spot in my heart that Dillon does. Lani left for college, but ended up back in our home town. We moved into this place about 4 months ago. We randomly go out and have a girls day, to help remind us of why we are so close.

These girls are the loves of my life. I can't imagine how different life would be without them. We've been the three musketeers since high school. It's dorky. It's sappy. I love it.

It seemed natural to me that these two beautiful girl-women that I'm so attached to would eventually find two wonderful men to love them. But when it came to me, I just always thought I would be the odd man out. I never dated when I was younger. Never. My first real boyfriend was a high school friend that I started dating a little after I graduated.

That didn't end well, to say the least. It was a definite starter relationship and I learned a lot, but I wouldn't want that situation again. It just ended up making me feel even more...weird and undateable. ( I know that isn't a word, but you understand what I mean.) I've always had this keen sense that I was...a little different than the general populace. When I was younger, it was crushing. I felt awkward and out of place all the time. But the older I get, the more I realize that when it comes down to it, people need to appreciate you for-well, you.

And not the you that you try to be. The you that just seems to come out naturally.

So, while the two loves of my life were finding their other halves, I stumbled onto mine.

This sleepy-faced man is Derek, and he has as much of my heart as I can give. I've never known someone to be so loving, caring, and understanding, no matter what. He is one of the few in my life that...really get me, and it's been that way from the start. I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet, because I found someone that I'm compatible with so completely. It's hard to put in words, but simply: he's amazing, fun, intelligent, compassionate. Everything I want, but didn't know I wanted.

I'm in love, folks. It's beautiful. (and girly and gross, but beautiful nonetheless, dammit.)

Hooray for that.

A beginning.

2007-07-15T22:34:00.000-04:00

I sat outside my apartment the other morning, drinking warm coffee, watching the wind poke the tops of trees around, and really just thinking about my life in general. I do that from time to time.

This time it was different. In the last 8 months or so, there has been a very real difference in my life, and the way I live it. I wonder if everyone has that odd moment where they think "well fuck, I'm growing up."

It's odd, let me tell you. Odder still, is the realization that none of this growing up business really had a plan to it. I went about it just like most of my life experiences; face (or ass-let's be honest.) first, and with very little thought. Makes sense, though. If I'd had time to think about it, I would have chickened out. Such is my nature.

Probably the biggest thing that's happened? I moved out of the nest, and into my own place, a decision that really took my mom by surprise. And in a way I guess it did me, too. The day I strapped my mattress to the roof of my '93 LeSabre and puttered away I thought "Wow- I'm moving. I've lived in the same house for 20 years, and this is all it takes to just--go. " I settled myself into one of three bedrooms in a house owned by a high school friend. One of my best friends, Lani, lived there too. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

That was January, and it was one of the most lonely Januaries I've known. It's an odd feeling to live in a house and be told to be at home there, but not feel it. And the lovely part of second shift is that nobody (and I mean nobody) is on your schedule. I felt like that guy that buys a 65 cent cup of coffee so he can loiter in the gas station parking lot every day(and of course, nobody talks to him, because he's the guy that loiters at the gas station every day). You know why he does that? So he can see people. It becomes a craving. (plus, it's difficult to maintain any sort of sleep schedule when the home owner and her fiancé are busy arguing over what to make for dinner and punching holes in the walls.

You can only go so long with only being allowed a bedroom, and a drawer in the bathroom, kitchen, and fridge. I never completely unpacked in the four months that I was there. I did, however, have the pleasure of being walked in on while topless and drying my hair by a certain home owner's fiancé. It still gives me the jeebs.

It didn't end well, by any means. Long story short, Lani and I moved ourselves out in less than 2 days, immediately after having found this hot little number we're in now. I like it. I can decorate and listen to the music I like, and the view at night isn't all that bad. I have my own bathroom(!), nobody tries to put holes in the wall...It's bliss. This is the first time someplace other than my mom's house has been home.My roommate and her fiancé are great roommates. We all coexist in a way that's healthy and non-hostile. It rocks.

Even sweeter still is this little cable connection that I have. I've always had dial-up (yes, yes, so '93 of me), so the idea of speed was...inconceivable.

So that explains my complete lack of existence in terms of the internet for the last 6 months, or more. But I have so much more to tell! Stories about ink, and metal, and love(!) are to come.

Probably love next. Good damn, I'm excited.

Welcome to the next part, kids.