Saturday, June 18, 2011

My how the time flies.

Two years ago ON THE DAY since I last blogged? Turns out that the older you get, the faster time flies. While I won't promise to update every day, just know that I'm still alive and kicking, and that we have much to catch up on from my two year sabbatical. Cheers to anyone who still checks in.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Happy Happy Birthday!

This man turned 23 on Thursday. He still looks this good, promise! Happy birthday, my puzzle piece.

Friday, May 15, 2009

An u

Just a quick stop to let those who still check in that life is swell. Wedding plans are at a standstill until we've decided on a house and what not, but they'll pick right back up as soon as that whole bit is resolved.

But on a related note: No, mom, I don't want full-length sleeves on my wedding dress, thanks for asking.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Worrisome thoughts.

I know I've gone over this before, but it will forever amaze me the vast amount of people that I went to school with that have married, and already have children. I got a copy of my high school transcript today, and according to such I graduated 49th out of 175. Small class, no doubt. I do the crude math in my mind, and at least half of those people are now married, and at least half of that half have a child, or multiple children.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I feel all "holy shit" when I think about it. Not to mention that it brings to mind my own soon-to-be marriage, and -gulp- the idea of having a family.

It's no secret, though maybe it hasn't been brought up here, that I will probably never have children. I have this weird hormonal condition that causes peaks and drops in my hormone levels, to the point where if I ever did have an oops it would never...come to fruition, I guess.

Basically I'm all barbed wire and land mines inside.

I think I'm okay with that, but sometimes I wonder. Knowing the life that I lead (which tends to be very late-night and lazy, to be honest), it would be ridiculous to try and bring a baby into such. I'm mature enough to realize that I'm not mature enough to be a good parent. I think that the idea of it being an extremely uphill battle is....comforting, in a way.

Derek had a baby dream the other night. He woke up with a sleepy smile and told me all about it. I've only ever had ONE baby dream, and that had to have been at least six years ago. The next night we were laying in bed and I was almost asleep, and I murmured -



"What if we can't have babies? I mean, ever?"

He tightened his arm around me, and snuggled my back.

"It'll be ok. I promise."

With that, I let it be and drifted off to sleep.

Part of me can't just let it go, thinking that some day we might decide "ah, what the hell!" and go shooting for something that will probably be a lot more difficult than I can even fathom. I'm talking bovine hormones, taking temperatures, the whole bit. In the face of such, does one just accept it, and ultimately be ok with it?

Will I be ok with it? I think that's the more important question.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Get behind me, Winter.

Despite the almost balmy conditions outside recently, it seems that winter is making one final reunion tour before finally calling it quits. The wind is howling, and there's snow in the forecast. Yuck. It's weather like this that only enhances my graveyard tan.

In regards to weddings and etc. there have been a few decisions, though not set in stone. Derek and I decided that we want to purchase a house before we do the whole wedding thing. That way, we can have the reception in our own yard if we so choose. A kind of double housewarming/yay, you're married! type thing. We shall see.

I also found an online retailer that has some nice, and also relatively cheap plus-sized wedding dresses. I'm a tad worried about it though, because I don't want to pay for what I think is a nice gown, and wind up with a bed sheet tailored to fit the Michelin man. A little more research is in order on that front.

I got my ring back from the jewelers this week. It seemed like it was taking forever to size, but I'm content now. I wore it to work, and then had to wade through all the "oohs" and "OMG let me see, let me see!s" for the entire day. Apparently, you can judge a fiancee by the ring he buys, without even knowing him personally. Who knew?

I've been Craigslisting furiously for days trying to find a new car. When my car died this winter, I opted for an old, 80's-style blazer for rest of the winter. Bad idea. Aside from the fact that it leaks fluid from every possible orifice, it's loud and has poor brakes. So hopefully I can find myself something that I feel comfortable driving further than the six mile trek to work. We shall see.

In the meantime however, I shall brew coffee, stare at the world wide web, and hope the fire kicks out some heat soon! It be chilly in these parts.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

On weddings.

Funny story: Derek proposed to me on Tuesday, and on Wednesday he came home with a fever and the chills. Turns out he had the flu, which in turn gave him bronchitis and sinusitis. So I spent the next week nursing him back to health. Unable to really talk to his heavily medicated self about wedding stuff, I was left to my own devices. Oh, and the evil thing that is the World Wide Web.

Seriously, I have no idea where to even start. There are so many different things to think about, aside from the obvious When and Where. Oh, and also? We aren't millionaires. We are what millionaires spend for breakfast, probably. I'm not all about princess weddings with taffeta and white horses and all that bullshit. But seriously, I refuse to have a bring-your-own-cooler, WalMart wedding. It's finding that middle ground that I'm having trouble with.

The other big thing (no pun intended*) is the dress. I went dress shopping with Yolanda when she was getting married, and seriously? They had nothing above a 10. It's no secret that I am not a size 10. In fact, you could probably staple two size 10 dresses together and it would still be too small. So I can just see how dreadful shopping for a dress will be. I've seen a lot of pretty dresses online, but the fact remains that even if they are made in plus sizes...I don't get to see a picture of them actually on a plus-sized girl. Maddening, and annoying.

Ugh, I could go on about this for days. I certainly don't want this to be a big frustrating ordeal. I think that my biggest problem is that I am a life-long "winger". That is, I do better in a situation where I can just jump right in and do something, rather than plan it and over think it. Weddings are the type of beast where planning is an absolute must--otherwise it would just be Derek and I standing around wondering where the hell everyone was. Oh, that's right, we didn't tell anyone about it. There were no invitations, no set plans. Kaboom, crash, fizzle!

*Takes a deep, calming breath*

I'm definitely excited that we're getting married. Derek is the most wonderful man that I've ever met, and I am perfectly happy with spending the rest of my life with him. I also want my close friends and family to be there to celebrate the coming together of our families. I just hate the fact that I'm having so much trouble wading through the crinoline and tiaras to find what I really want.

*ok, perhaps a little.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The shortest post of ALL TIME.

To all those of you that have followed me in my blogging journey (though it had many gaps, and long rambling stories about teenage problems, obesity, and bodily odors) I have some news.

Derek proposed to me. I said yes. I'm getting married!